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Thursday, August 27, 2015

Jake Becker Survival Guide- Sustained by @EmmaChse #LawyerOrLover

How to Chaperone a One Direction Concert (Without Killing Someone)

by Jake Becker

1. They sell beer at the concession stand. Drink it responsibly, but definitely drink it. It’s the only thing that gets you through the night.
2. Don’t be that guy acting like he’s having a good time. It won’t make you look “cool” - just @$#!$# creepy.
3. Be ready to catch. Whether it’s because of hyperventilating or the simple sight of One Direction, some girl in your vicinity is going to pass the hell out.
4. Make sure you have extra memory on your phone – because apparently when their phones are filled to capacity with pictures – Hara-kiri will then commence.
5. Earplugs.
6. Earplugs.
7. Earplugs.
8. Park far, far away because then you’ll actually be able to get out of the parking lot when the concert is over. And you’ll risk less damage to your car - these are teenage girl drivers we’re talking about here.
9. Remind yourself that your parents probably couldn’t stand the music you listened to as a kid either. This proves that karma is real and that she is, in fact, a bitch.

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