It will rip you apart and possibly put you back together again.
I know this because it's my story.
The pain and anguish experienced in this is what it was like to hold onto hope that some day we'd find each other again. I won't sugar coat the details of what I went through to have her, nor will I apologize for any actions that led me right back into her life.
Sometimes love isn't enough.
Sometimes it takes a little fate.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I wanted you to know that I’ve
arrived overseas, and have settled in the best I’m able to. I owe you both an
apology. Never in a million years did I see things playing out the way they
have. I didn’t show up at the wedding to ruin everyone’s lives. The truth is
that I couldn’t help myself. I had to pursue her, because I’ve loved that girl
since we were children. She’s everything to me.
I know I made a mess of things. I
screwed up and embarrassed you. I ruined my relationship with Branch, but I
think you deserve to know why. All this time, all the years since they started
dating, he’d been feeding Kat and I lies, keeping us apart. From the age of
twelve he told me Kat wasn’t interested. I trusted him.
Apparently he was doing the same to
Kat, telling her that I didn’t like her that way. All this time we could have
been together, but instead he weaseled his way into her heart, making her feel
bad for ever having feelings for me.
I’m not saying that what I did
wasn’t wrong. I know right from wrong. Two people went into my hotel room that
night, and what happened was mutual. We knew the risks, but took them anyway. I
honestly couldn’t stop myself. Once the truth was revealed nothing could have
kept me from her.
I snapped.
You may never be able to understand
what it’s been like for me, watching her with him, year after year, as if I was
a punching bag. I’ve got thick skin, but even the toughest person would have
broken down at some point. I’ve been trained to replace pain with power, but
this doesn’t apply. I’m on a path of destruction, because I simply don’t care
anymore. Branch ruined my life. He was the reason I had to get away. Joining
the military was my way out. I knew it would keep me from coming home, and
bearing the burden of watching them happy. I punished myself for loving her,
and attempted to move on with no result. No matter how hard I try I can’t stop
loving her, and that’s why I know I can’t come home. There’s nothing left there
for me except pain. I’ll never regret being able to live under the same roof as
my two best friends, but I will hate myself for not going after what I wanted
sooner. I could have prevented all of this. We could be sharing our lives
together, having children, and waking up to knowing nothing will tear us apart.
Instead I’m on the other side of the world, throwing myself into defending my
country, because it’s the only thing keeping me going.
I can’t promise that I’ll write
back all the time. It’s hard for me to sit down and put my feelings on paper.
I’ve already been warned that what I’m about to see over here will haunt me
forever. I’m used to living in hell, so I’ve got every reason to believe that
I’ll get through it. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry that I was such a
disappointment. I was acting out, because I couldn’t have what I wanted.
Jealousy took control, forcing my hand to make irrational decisions. At the end
of the day I deserve to be here, in the middle of this battle zone. If
something happens to me and I don’t return please don’t dwell on my death. Just
know I’m no longer in any pain. Nothing will ever hurt me again.
Thank you for bringing me up right,
and teaching me what was love was. As much as it hurts, I don’t regret
experiencing it. How I feel about Kat is something special. Not everyone finds
their true love so early in life. Perhaps that’s why I couldn’t keep her. Maybe
I had enough time with her when we were younger. No matter the case, I’m
appreciative.
Take care of her and Branch. Help
them to make amends. We’ll always be family.
Until next time with love,
Brooks
Get the beginning of the story with Love's Suicide
My heart belonged to Branch and Brooks Valentine since we were children, when we were all too naïve to know what that even meant. We didn’t understand that when we became adults, love would change us. I had to make a choice and when I did, it ripped our bond apart. Brooks left town, and he took half of my heart with him. It was difficult, but I coped and planned my future with Branch. I thought I’d made the right decision. I loved him and I always had.
Brooks showed up to be our best man the night before our nuptials. After drinks and too much reminiscing, I ended up in bed with the wrong brother. To avoid the humiliation and the fact that I’d ruined all of our lives, I left Branch and the only family I’d ever known.
That’s where my story should have ended.
Two years, one beautiful little girl and an abusive marriage later, I was standing there staring at the man that would always hold my heart.
The only question was…
Would I give it to him
I’m Katy Michaels and this is my story.
Jennifer Foor is an award winning Contemporary Romance Author. She's best known for the Mitchell Family Series, which includes ten books.
She is married with two children and spends most of her time behind a keyboard, writing stories that come from her heart.
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